insecure in bed

i have very low self esteem during sex. the thought of actually being in control or being the one to make moves causes me extreme anxiety. my boyfriend and i have only been having sex in missionary position, sometimes changing the position of my legs so he can get a better angle. i want to change it up and maybe get on top because i don’t want him to get bored of our sex, but i’m terrified. i feel like my anxiety has caused me to be horrible in bed because i’m so scared to do anything for him. not that i don’t want to, but the thought just terrifies me. any tips on simple things i could do to keep things interesting? or any positions you’d recommend? any tips on being on top? (btw i don’t perform oral on him- that’s something we’ve had conversations about and i don’t do)