On my early 20s, I had no problem getting off during sex. I remember at first, it only happened when I was on top, then as we had sex more, I could do it on bottom or from behind.

The past 7-10 years, I can not get off during sex. My ex husband had so many issues. He would last only a few minutes, refused to touch me or go down on me, and couldn’t keep it hard so I ended up getting frustrated and annoyed. He only wanted to have sex in one position that did nothing for me. He was a narcissist asshole in and out of the bedroom. There was other verbal abuse and belittling that eventually made me feel horrible about my body and self.

Eventually, my body stopped responding. I let him get his few thrusts in and I would blink away the tears from the horrible pain ( because I was not wet or prepared)

Now that he is out of my life, and I am with a new man, I’m getting frustrated that I still can’t orgasm during sex. I know I can, but my body refuses to go there because of all the abuse my ex put me through. I know this new man is a little concerned but I feel like something is wrong with me. Will I ever be able to have a normal sex life? Will I be able to relax and not feel judged, used, and in pain.