So just need to get this off my chest cause I cant talk to anyone else about this. Me and my husband have been together for a while. 10 years in December and 5 years married in July. A very very long time ago my husband would constantly cheat and every time I would just get sucked back in cause I was young, dumb, and in love. I got pregnant when I was 18. He cheated during the pregnancy. And also cheated one last time about 6 months after we got married. And I forgave him and stayed. But he hasnt cheated since then. He kinda grew up finally. Since December we have been on and off and constantly fighting about our relationship. And how to fix it. Hes barely home. Hes a tow truck driver and is on call 4 nights out of the week and it's been busy through the winter months. I started talking to one of my old exs who was still a great friend.and then kinda just brought back feelings I havent felt for years. He was so easy to talk to. Knew literally everything about me. It was so easy for him to make me laugh or smile and then it kinda went dark pretty quickly. He got abusive and started threatening me and trying to blackmail me. Saying that I was a joke to him. Or any name under the sun. Just because I didnt text back right away cause I had stuff to do. He had told me that pay back was a bitch and that I would love what he was going to do. So he gave me an hour to either tell my husband or he would. I wasnt scared to tell my husband. Part of me thought it was payback for all the years he did it to me. And so I told my husband everything. And I realized that even with our past and my trust issues, insecuritys, anxiety, you name it. I dont deserve him. My husband went for a walk last night after I told him. Came home. Played his game for a little bit before bed. And after he got off he cuddled with me and kissed me and told me he loved me and that we can get through anything. And I fucking cried. I was expecting an asshole. I was expecting to be ignored or called names. But no. He laid down next to me and kissed me and told me he loved me. I didnt deserve that.

And it's okay if I get hate for this. I no I fucked up. I took responsibility. And I'm not doing it again. And my husband knows that he fucked up. But back then he didnt tell me. I found out through his phone and conversations with other women. I found out the fucked up way and it broke me. Part of me wanted him to feel that kinda hurt to.

But either way. No ones perfect..