Opinions?

I have an extremely negative body image and always feel like I need to lose 20-30 # (even when it's not realistic...I have been a chronic yo yo dieter in the past and I think that among other things has been the main reason for how I view myself).  It doesn't always help that my husband is in near perfect health and condition lol.  We are about to start really TTC this month but I am terrified that I am too overweight right now and I have a fear of getting bigger than I am now during a pregnancy.  I am looking for non biased opinions since all my friends and family and husband would obviously just tell me I am beautiful no matter what I weigh (for some reason this does nothing for me and I know it should)...do any of you think I should lose some weight before we start trying? Do I look very overweight?  I am asking honestly because at this point it is hard for me to not see myself as being almost 200# (that is how much I weighed out of college).  This picture was taken last week on a cruise.  I am 5'1" and I couldn't tell you what i weigh now because I'm scared to look since we ate a ton of food last week haha but I'm somewhere around 150 in this picture I would guess.  I lift weights 5 times a week and do cardio/HIIT intervals 4times a week and my diet is good.  It is hard for me to not focus on the number despite knowing I do have quite a bit of muscle mass.  Is it easy to manage how much weight I gain during a pregnancy If I continue with my diet and exercise as it is now?..sorry for rambling!!  Has anyone else had this fear??? 😔