Being molested is haunting me?

Question

I was molested by a family member when I was approximately 7 years old. For years I never truly understood what it was that happened to me. I never to this day have told anyone but I knew what had occurred was bad. 
The past couple years, this began to haunt me. My innocence was taken from me at a very young age and I don’t want this to affect me but I feel like it’s too late. 
I can’t tell anyone I just can’t. I will begin the biggest war between my family and I don’t want to cause anyone pain especially since the person that molested me was under the age of 18. I left a toxic abusive relationship approximately 2 years ago and I feel like every man has hurt me starting at a very young age. 
The question is how do I move on from this? How do I shed this pain? Have any of you experienced something similar, how did you move on? I’m 20 years old now.
Posting this is the biggest step I’ve taken regarding this situation. I’m considering seeking therapy but I’m literally a completely closed person. Thank you for reading this post.

Answer

I was molested by my grandfather until I was like 10 when he died. I didn't tell anyone until I was 21. Im 23 now and still working on myself. Talking to my aunts and making it known really helped me. Find anyone that you really trust and can depend on to tell to help lift some bricks off of your shoulders. Or if you dont have anyone like that please see a therapist because the first step in moving forward is to not let these events control your life anymore. I have this quote saved on my phone and I really like it. I think you might also.

Answer

I was molested by a sibling at a young age. It split my family. 
They believed me, but decided to keep in touch with him and even my half siblings on my dads side after the divorce still keep in contact with their "brother" which just hurts me. How can someone, especially not related to him still choose to have love for a monster? Someone that hurt their little sister in such a damaging, permanent way? To me it makes no sense and builds up resentment. 
What helps me is not holding in how I feel. If someone starts talking about him around me I just flat out say "can you not?!” which catches them off guard and they stop speaking of him. 
Or one time MY sister (not his) tagged me in a "sibling appreciation post" about "not having half siblings" and I commented that I only have "X amount of siblings" and she mentioned the one who molested me "what about X" and I said no, he's dead to me and untagged myself. It's hard, but if I don't validate and stick up for myself I'd go insane. I know what happened and so will everyone else whether they like it or not.

Answer

Yes I have been sexually abused by a cousin of mine. My mom and my aunt used to live together in one 2-bedroom apartment. At that time I was about 5-6 and he was about 11-12.. He would tell me that we were gonna play games and he would basically tell me to put my face near his penis and nothing more..I ofcoursr thought it was strange but I was little so I kinda acted like nothing happened..then days/ weeks went by and that sorta stuff kept happening.. We finally moved to separate apartments but he would come over to babysit me when my parents had to go out..He would tell me that we would play video games and if he won he was supposed to lay on top of me, his pants and underwear off and mine too but Noo sexual intercourse, he just kinda layed on top of me, I was laying on my belly and he was laying on top of me same way.. I think a year went by and this happened less but then once we went over to his parents and I was playing video games with him and it was a racing game and we had like a wheel thing, then out of nowhere he started touching me in my vagina, I totally felt uncomfortable and told him to stop if not I would tell his mom, I got up and walked out then he said " they wont believe you and if they do your mom and my mom will never talk again because of you". I felt SO scared, remember  I was 8ish .  Eventually it stopped because he was getting older and had girlfriends and all that adult stuff..I never told my parents until about a year or 2 ago. My parents were in shock, my dad was about to go out the door and go do something to him and talk to my aunt. I begged him not to because my aunt is sick and I know this would definitely would cause her to get worse . I am now 24.. my parents now understand why I never wanted to go to my aunts dinners with them.. I didnt go into detail though of what exactly happened.. I know my dad would have some sort of attack or something. 
But this affected me so much my whole life. My childhood was ruined, I started questioning sexual things at a young age, I always watched porn back then , I just felt different from others at a young age..
I just pray nothing like this well never happen to my children and will protect them and educate them of everything about sexual assaults and abuse, and what is right and wrong!
 ( sorry this was long)

Answer

I notice i just let all my feelings go into something that drowns out my emotions like for me its my paintings

Answer

I was molested from the age of 8 till I was almost 15. I still really ready struggle with it, but one thing that helped me was realizing what had happened to me. And I made the step to go to therapy almost 4 years later. I barely talk about it in therapy but it's a step. I still hav mental break downs over it and I still have nightmares. What I'm saying is the road to recovery is very very hard. You have to be willing to help yourself for others to help you and for you to get better. Make the step to see a therapist. Or even a really close trusted friend. You dont have to say who It is or anything just someone to open up to. Its extremely difficult and it gets harder before it gets easier. Hang in there. You can always message me if you'd like

Being molested is haunting me?

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