The sex blows because he only wants me to blow him

So, I’ve been dating this guy for around 1.5 years now, and he’s the only guy I’ve had sex with...however, he only ever goes for like 10 minutes and then he asks me to jack him off or give him a blowjob t finish off our sex session. I feel kind of pressured to do it, not because of him but because I’m a people pleaser, and tell him I’ll do it another time. I really don’t like giving Blowjobs though, but he loves them, probably more than sex which is a second thing with me.

I think he likes blowjobs more than actual sex, which I would be fine with if we didn’t only have sex for like 10 minutes and then have him ask me to finish him off. If we did more sensual sex, where he touched me more and kissed me more for a longer period of time, and actually really engaged in the foreplay, then I’d be fine with these constant quickies. He isn’t a fan of scheduling sex, but at this point I just feel like it’s either 10 minutes or nothing with him.

Because of this whole sex < blowjob/handy business, I’ve started feeling kind of self conscious during sex too, and it’s really getting to me to the point where I don’t even want to have sex because I know he’ll just ask for a BJ or Handy at the end of it. I feel like he just has sex with me to get to the end of it where he could potentially get something else, and it really blows! I know I have to be foreword and honest with him, but whenever I tell him anything like. “I like when you bite my ear” or “you should use more tongue” he only does it for like 15 seconds and then goes back to the fast paced fore play. I try to communicate ur it’s just in one ear out the other.

So I’ve tried to tell him in the past when things make me unhappy, but he tells me that I only ever have bad things to say about our relationship, which is true and that be been trying to be more vocal about when I’m happy. That isn’t saying it’s hard to be happy in this relationship lol I’m more like the kind of person who stays silent because things are going well, but I’m trying to be more vocal. But because he says I only talk about what makes me unhappy, I feel bad trying to bring up stuff like this, which is dumb I know.

Lastly, my libido is a lot higher than his by a long shot, which makes it even more frustrating when he’s never wants to engage back with me when I’m canoodling a little harder than usual to gauge his interest. At this point I don’t even want to try an engage him because I don’t want to get shot down anymore.

But whenever he wants to have sex, suddenly the foreplay and cuddles are amazing because he’s trying harder to get me in the mood. I just wish I didn’t have to lie to him that I’m not in the mood for him to put some effort into me! Literally!

As I type this, I’m realizing there might be more communication problems in my relationship than I thought...Idk what do y’all think about any of this?