How do you all deal with someone telling you to just let your baby cry it out if you don’t believe in that?

Question

My cousin who doesn’t have kids is like don’t complain about getting no sleep. You don’t let them cry it out. And I’m like I wouldn’t be able to sleep hearing that and after reading articles I don’t want to do
Anything that could possibly damage my kid. And she’s like my boyfriend had to cry it out and he has 0 problems🙄

Answer

You say "I'm just not comfortable with it" and move on. You don't owe her an explanation regarding how you parent. I did sleep training for all 4 of my kids once they were mobile, and they're fine. But that doesn't mean that is what you ought to do.  But I would also stop complaining to her about getting no sleep because obviously this isn't a productive conversation between the 2 of you, so I would avoid the topic. My SIL is the opposite in that she judges me for sleep training my kids, she refuses which is fine by me but she thinks I've harmed my kids which pisses me off, so we just don't talk about sleeping lol.

Answer

I’ve been told it more times then I care to hear. I don’t let my babies cry if I can help it. In fact I can’t even remember when their cries went from the newborn to the baby cry because they hardly cried. To some that may seem extreme but the way I see it is crying is the only my way my babies can communicate with me. Would I want someone to ignore me when I was crying? Well that depends but anyway, as for babies are concerned I think it is horribly wrong to let them cry it out and there are studies to prove the effects. That’s just me. 
When someone tells me I should let my kids cry it out my answer is “why would I ever do that??? Obviously they need me and to ignore them would not only be selfish but cruel.”
People have told me I’m spoiling them, teaching them bad habits, that they’ll learn to manipulate me and on and on. To each his own but crying it out is NOT for my kids.

Answer

I never did the CIO method nor would I ever with my children. All three have been sleeping through the night at around 2 months. No crying here. It shouldn’t be done for young babies either since it can be damaging. Do what you feel is right and don’t listen to other people especially those who are not parents.

Answer

The Ferber method or the cry it out method isn’t what people think it is. Richard Ferber never intended caregivers to just let their children cry. 
“Richard Ferber, M.D.: It's flattering that my name is out there, but it suggests a misunderstanding of what I've been teaching for so long that it concerns me. I've always believed that there are many solutions to sleep problems, and that every family and every child is unique. People want one easy solution, but there's no such thing. I never encouraged parents to let their babies cry it out, but one of the many treatment styles I described in my book is gradual extinction, where you delay your response time to your baby's wakings. I went to great pains in the second edition to clarify that that treatment is not appropriate for every sleep issue, of which there are many. So if someone tells me they tried my "method," I know they only read one small part of my book.”

Answer

There are so many different types of crying.   The cry it out method worked for us however it was more like fuss it out. You can tel when baby is crying because something is wrong or they are fussing because they just want to be held.  
You have to do what is best for you. The fuss it out worked wonders for us. If he would start to actually cry we would go in there and sooth him. We would NEVER just leave him to cry too hard. But it does get to a point where babes is totally fine and nothing is wrong except he wants to be held.  If baby is actually crying something is probably wrong and needs attention.

Answer

Stop talking about it with her 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

Honestly the cry it out never worked for me. I tried many times with my son and he just is a vary emotional kid that needs a lot of love. So I’ve had that constantly told to me. I just tell them “ you watch him for a day and over night and then you can give me your opinion, until then, keep it to yourself”.

Answer

I’ve always told people good thing it’s my kid not theirs 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

I would honestly tell her “That’s so sad how could I just leave my baby laying there to cry hysterically by himself?” I would tell them “I’m glad your boyfriend turned out ok but studies now show…” and then I’d ignore her.

Answer

Honestly I would just tell her that when she decides to have a child she can use that technique for her child but for you you plan on taking a different approach.

How do you all deal with someone telling you to just let your baby cry it out if you don’t believe in that?

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