Is this unhealthy/emotionally abusive?

We’ve been broken up (for the second time) after 2 days when these messages happened tonight. I know I’m not meant to be with him but he was my first in a lot of ways so it’s been so difficult to let him go...

The first time we were together I tried to leave several times and when I finally did, he punched himself in the face until I called the cops.

He’s also 35 (im 21) and he has yet to prove he can get off his video games/have enough ambition in life to go out and get a job. I don’t want to take care of a grown ass baby.

I feel strongly that this is emotional abuse and he’s trying to intimidate me into staying with him but I feel so bad for him. I miss his smell, the little comments he makes every once in a while about how I’m pretty, how I’m so comfortable with him intimately, and how we are best friends when we’re with each other. I feel like I’ll never find anyone else that can put up with my personality quirks

Any advice from someone out there that’s experienced this? Is this love? Is this emotional abuse? I just want to know I’m not crazy...

EDIT: thank you all so much for the support! 😭 I spent most of the night thinking maybe I should’ve just had him over and given in so I had someone to hold me while I was upset, but that would’ve only made it worse. Your comments helped me see that he is in fact being pathetic and desperate! I finally feel like I have the upper hand and I can be the bigger/better person while I move on from this chapter. I love that I have this community to turn to! ❤️🥰