How do I stop this?!!!

Question

My daughter is 3. She’s been doing this since she was 1 and NOTHING stops it. Not talking, explaining, or spanking. Nothing. 
When we leave somewhere that she doesn’t want to leave (park, store, grandmas house, even the car) she SCREAMS. And I mean full on hitting, kicking and screaming so loud every stares at you. After leaving, she screams for at least 15 minutes. 
I literally can’t take it anymore. I need help because this has been going on for 2 years

Accepted Answer

It sounds like she has a problem transitioning between activities. It's very common in toddlers. There are a few things you can try. Always give a warning. You can give a 5 minute warning or you can turn it into a choice. "Do you want to leave now or in 5 minutes?". Once it's time to go you can turn it into a game. "Do you want to tiptoe to the car like sneaky mice or do you want to wiggle walk to the car/stroller like wiggly worms?" Once at the car offer yet another choice. "Do you want to climb into your carseat or do you want me to help you in?" Sometimes giving them control over the transition makes it easier on them.

Answer

My son is almost 6 and still does it . Welcome to parenting ! Kids are assholes lol

Answer

Sounds like she has trouble transitioning. Google says to help. Start by giving her many heads up..."in 30 minutes we will pick up toys and leave" "in 15 minutes we will pick up toys and leave" "in 2 minutes..." you get the idea. Leave something in the car to distract her. A favorite stuffed animal or a snack she loves. Remind her it is waiting for her and she only gets it once she is calm in the car.

Answer

What helped with mine was not talking, not engaging at all. I’d tell him it was time to go. If he argued or started fighting, I’d pick him up and walk with him screaming. For him it was about the attention. It took a little bit, but taking that attention away from him and going straight faced made a big difference.

Answer

Put her in the car and let her scream til she stops. But don't get in. Then tell her that next time she can't come because of how she's acting and leave her home.   Other than not taking her places I'm not really sure there is a way to get her to stop. My son was a runner and would take off running in stores and the park and anywhere he wasn't in a stroller or carseat. I literally had to stop taking him with me because it was dangerous and I had a baby with me so I couldn't always chase him with out basically leaving her in the buggy or something. He's much older and stopped doing that when he was about 5... so maybe if she realizes that she doesn't get to go to places with you it will help.

Answer

Look up the 1-2-3 method on YouTube. It works on any kid old enough to throw a tantrum, teenagers included believe it or not. It saved my sanity with my 2 oldest, and naturally fell into place with my 2 youngest. But you have to stay consistent and you cannot bend the rule. Stick to it and good luck!

Answer

All these suggestions are so great! It really is gonna take some trial and error but you’ll find your method that works.

Answer

Oh man I’m so sorry. I feel like this is going to be an issue I have with my daughter because she’s only 6 months and already throws tantrums when she doesn’t get her way. I’m sure you’ve tried lots but at the day care I worked at we would talk calmly but stern. Let them know that we understood how they were feeling and help them understand their emotions. For instance if they were screaming because it was time to put away puzzles and they didn’t want to we would get down to their level and say something along the lines of “I know the puzzles are super fun and we’re sad to stop playing but now it’s time for ____. Tomorrow we will have puzzle time again and think of how much fun it will be!” Obviously they’re not going to just give up, some will scream even more. But we would then respond with “I know you’re frustrated and upset, but it’s now time for ____.” And just keep repeating that. Helping them name their emotions and talking about them really helps them calm down. It’s going to be a battle of wills for a long time, possibly months, but you will get there! Remember, you’re the mom. They may drive us crazy but we have the control! Hang in there❤️

Answer

I've been working with children under 5 for more than 10 years, and my biggest suggestion is: Consistency is key! Every child is different, and responds to a different approach. What's most important is that you are consistent in your response! 
This is very typical 2 year old behavior. Most 2 year olds don't have a concept of time, so I would suggest something more visual (i.e. hold up 5 fingers "In five fingers, we're going to clean up and say goodbye." 5 min later, Hold up 4 fingers "in four fingers we're going to clean up and say good bye." Etc. Etc.). It's nice, because you can work the visual into any time frame you need it. You're giving her the transition warning and the expectation of what's coming. next.
Know that regardless of what method you use to redirect/stop the behavior, it will get worse before it gets better! She's going to fight you harder to push her way before following your way! The most important thing is to just stay on the path! I know it's hard but in the long run, it will be worth it, and she'll grow out of the screaming.

Answer

So, my son is 3 and he’s on a Daniel tigers neighborhood kick - they literally have ideas for EVERYTHING - try doing like “ (kids name) it’s almost time to go, pick one more activity to do then it’ll be time to go” 
My son will get upset when it’s time to leave the park and I tried that and it kind of helped. He got upset for a second then I was like hey, come for a walk with mommy and CRISIS DIVERTED. Along the walk I distracted him by “hey look at the frog over there, what does the frog say” and so on and so forth all the way to the car. 
Sometimes “popping” and time out isn’t effective for every kid. We have to remember they are tiny terrorists and they don’t fully understand what’s going on. 
When he was younger and the tantrums started i would just step over him and keep moving. He doesn’t flop about the floor anymore. 
Unfortunately it’s trial and error. EVERY kid is different. Find the method that works best for the kid and stick with it. Is it going to be a miracle - probably not.

How do I stop this?!!!

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