Holidays

How does everyone navigate holidays with the in-laws? His parents are religious and mine are not, so all of the holidays that my family happens to get together is the holidays that are important for Christians 🤦🏼‍♀️ Namely Christmas and Easter, but Thanksgiving is huge deal apparently too (for them at least 🙄). To make matters more complicated, we're currently living with MY parents so IMO it's not polite to run out first thing in the morning when my mom makes a big breakfast, and not see my family again until that evening. My grandmother is the one that does all the cooking, and she's flexible time-wise, she just wants to know ahead of time. But I could ask six months in advance and my MIL still wouldn't be able to make a decision until the day before 😡 With Easter coming up, I'm trying to plan ahead again (because this is now the third holiday we're having to navigate like this). And my MIL *thinks* they're going to go to the 9 AM Easter church service, but history has proven that they aren't super reliable with time and odds are just as good that they'll be going to the 11 AM. I had my husband ask her about it the other day, so that my grandmother has fair warning, and she got into a fight with him because my family ALWAYS does dinner - but she was being a child because she was saying that "lunch" is "dinner". So is my family having dinner at 6 a problem or not? 🤔 My husband also told me that Easter dinner isn't nearly the production that Christmas and Thanksgiving are - it's normally whatever his mom feels like making that morning, which could be pot roast or taco salad (which is an issue we'll deal with day of 🤢). So why is it even a big deal if it has to be lunch? For example, Christmas "lunch" was supposed to be at 2 and it wasn't ready until almost 5 - we had to leave at 5:30 to make it to my grandparents on time, who had dinner waiting for us.

I get that it's important for them for religious reasons, but is it fair to say that if you can't make concrete plans until the day before then you're just going to have to deal with the plans I make? They wanted us to be there for Christmas breakfast and I couldn't even get a solid time frame until CHRISTMAS MORNING.

I don't know what my MIL is going to do when my husband and I get our own place and start our own holiday stuff. I just don't want the drama and rushing around next month. My WHOLE family is willing to accommodate my in laws, but at some point I have to put my foot down, right?

Any advice or other horror stories would be greatly appreciated x

PS hubby does not care. Hasn't even cared about going to church (we can watch live online if we can't make it in person) since Christmas. So while him not getting in a huff about it is wonderful, it'd be great if HE would put his foot down with his mother, but he's halfway to a panic attack just thinking about calling her (for anything, not just this) 🤦🏼‍♀️