Cheating

My boyfriend cheated on me 4 months ago, I chose to forgive him & make it work. However, I'm finding myself disgusted with him & irritated with him. How can you look me in my face pretending everything is good when you were cheating on me. I'm hurt more importantly I'm angry. After everything I did & still do for him. I wonder how long was he going to wait to tell me because I found out, he didn't come out & tell me. & He tries everyday to right his wrongs but I feel like it's not enough sometimes. That same spark is not there like it use to be because I have visions of him with another female. I know that I have to forgive him but it's harder than I thought. 💔