Step children vs yours! How to balance????

Question

Hubby has a 3 year old and we just had our first child together. 
His little girl is now slowly integrating into living with us. She and her mother were not ready to have her live in my house beforehand. 
My newborn is 5 days old and my step daughter just slept over for the first time. 
I’m finding adapting to her harder than adapting to this newborn! Any tips? How can I connect with her more while being able to enjoy every second of my new baby boy? 
All I want to do is stare at my baby all day long but now I have to build a relationship with a 3 year old! She’s amazing and loves her “baby bruddah” but she takes all my energy and I don’t have much left for baby. I want to love her like my own but I now just got my own and it’s all just very confusing. Please help with advice if you can

Answer

Sounds like really poor timing to start having overnights.

Answer

Can she start this integration time in a couple weeks? One of my biggest regrets is giving time to others, chores, or feeling obligated to hand my newborn to others during that time. You need time to just bond alone with your newborn. Don't rob yourself of that, bad timing.

Answer

You’re only just beginning this so give it time. You’re going to be exhausted being with both kids. You will have to find a way to figure out to make time to bond with your step daughter and giving the baby time he needs. You’ve got to give yourself time to figure out your new life schedule and that’s not going to happen this fast with a newborn. And you can have your husband help you while you get adjusted. Stay patient and give it time.

Answer

Nurture her. Try to think of your heart growing instead of dividing. I know there's only so much time in a day but that little girl is just as much of a blessing as your baby. When your son is sleeping set him aside once in a while and rock that little girl to sleep and admire her cute little face. Its not hard. Being close to her will help your bond. Give her the same motherly love that you want your son to have. My stepson came to live with us when he was 2 and 1/2. I didn't have another little one at the time but I always treated him as my own and fully provided for him. His mother is not in his life and I am his mommy. I don't know if this situation is similar to yours but I can tell you it is very possible to love a child from a previous relationship just as much as your bio child. My son is 10 now (stepson) and I have an 8 month old bio baby. He helps me everyday and plays with his little brother it's an amazing relationship and I'm so proud to be both of their mom. 
By the way when I was 19 I started trying to conceive so that my step-son would have a sibling so close in age. I think it's great that your baby has a sibling only 3 years apart they will get along great and bond over things together.

Answer

You treat her just like she is your own child, like if you had 2 children.

Step children vs yours! How to balance????

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