Foster Kid, Stupid Teacher, and Investigation

So my husband and I do a lot of fostering and typically have kids between 3rd and 5th grade. And every time we get a kid it seems we run into the same problem with a certain teacher's project.

The project is to create a timeline of your life from 2yrs on and list the biggest life event from each year. They create a poster (with pictures) and have to present it. I approach this teacher every time and nicely ask if the child we have can do something else instead since we almost never have pictures and quite frankly, a lot of these kids' big life moments have been awful. The girl I am doing the project with now , for example, when asked what was the biggest thing that happened in Kindergarten she said, 'my dad killed my mom in the living room'. It just seems somewhat unnecessary to put a 3/4 grader through this when life is hard enough.

Now obviously I could help them find other things to write about but it's just tough. In the presentation they also have to include their family life and how it has impacted them. I could see how this might be fine for a child with a 'typical' family just talking about being a big or little sibling and stuff like that, but it's just hard for some of the kids I have to explain or feel comfortable talking about their situation and sometimes it's not something they even want to share with me.

Every year it seems I am dealing with this teacher and every year she responds "it's a good learning opportunity for the other kids". I'm sorry, but I don't think this child's trauma is a mere learning opportunity for Sally in the classroom. I really try to work with this teacher. I ask if she can skip the family part, she says no. I tell her we don't have pictures, she says to draw them (they'd be the only one with drawn pictures). I ask if she can skip the presenting part or at least not have her project hung in the hallway and of course it's also a no. I understand the project is to showcase differences and all that but it is really hard for some of my kiddos.

Anyways, so this year after arguing with the teacher again I just told the young girl with me now that she doesn't have to talk about anything that makes her uncomfortable. So she asked if she could just pretend that our family was hers and she could talk about living with two baby brothers (my sons) and going to a concerts/playing music with her dad (my husband) and learning to cook and doing crafts with her mom (me). I told her she can absolutely do that.

Fast forward to presentation day. At the end, people can ask questions or whatever and from my understanding everything was going fine. And then the teacher just HAD to open her mouth. She asked this little girl "do you want to share with everybody about your other family?". My girl said no and the teacher asked AGAIN "are you sure? I'd love to hear about your other brothers and sisters". Like, what the actual F***!??? Of course she instantly burst into tears and I got a frantic phone call from the nurse (not a personal friend, but someone I've come to know and be friendly with who also cannot stand this teacher). I show up and my little girl is still sobbing and so embarrassed. I got the story from the nurse and my girls' friend who was with her in the classroom and now in the nurse's station. I IMMEDIATELY took the girl home and kept her home the next two days and then it was the weekend. Sunday night our social worker showed up saying the teacher had called him claiming I was keeping the girl from school!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I WAS SO PISSED. I explained the situation and said I would be enrolling her in a different school (private) for the rest of the semester. Now there is an open investigation on whether I am neglecting her by not sending her to school when in reality we are getting ready to pay out of pocket to a private school to keep her from having to deal with an insensitive and ridiculously moronic teacher.

Anyways, I have been so mad this week and I had to rant somewhere since I can't exactly talk to people who know me/her right now. I just really want this to go away so we can move on with life. Thank you for listening to me ramble and wish us luck.