Where should I seek help.

Question

Hi ladies. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over a year. I’m 34. I am wondering if I should make an appointment with my GYN or a fertility specialist at this point. It takes forever to get an appointment so I just want to make sure I pick the correct one the first time around. I just found out my other friend who has been trying for the same time needs surgery for blocked Fallopian tubes so what if I have a medical issue too. 
Also if I want to do something similar to artificial insemination with gender selection - what is that called? Is there a special name? 
My husband has performance anxiety and this whole this has been dampening our marriage in some ways. :(

Answer

Send your hubby to a urologist and make an appt. with an RE to get the ball rolling (some clinics don’t have openings for MONTHS). In the meantime, have your husband do an SA and get checked out by the urologist and call your OB/GYN and ask if they’ll order an HSG. That way, by the time you have an appt. with an RE, you’ve gotten a head start on some of the testing. When you meet with an RE, he’ll order his own tests and come up with a very specific plan for you and your husband— likely lots of bloodwork and monitoring on cycle specific days. It’s a fallacy that you have to wait a full year before seeing a specialist. Yes, it can take some healthy couples up to a year+ (and that’s likely why the recommend waiting that long), but my RE reminds me that most are pregnant by 6 months. No harm in getting checked out. I went with my gut after about 7 months and one chemical and I’m glad I didn’t wait the full year. good luck to you!

Answer

I’m 33. I knew our insurance wasn’t covering fertility, so I went straight to a fertility specialist. I chose ours based on other friends who have used the office and had success — and who assured me that this doctor was the most aggressive. My husband and I had been trying more “natural” ways for a while (supplements, etc.) and I didn’t want to waste any more time. 
Re: performance issues, I completely understand and I have been in the same boat. I can’t help but feel so frustrated when I think of all things I’m doing to my body, poking, prodding, etc., and he only has to do one thing but then has issues. I KNOW that’s not fair to him, but this whole journey can be so down right devastating. Honestly, I’m pretty faithful so I just pray continually for God to work this out for us, and for me to give my husband grace, and for peace that passes understanding. It is so easy to go down the rabbit hole of sadness and anger so I try really hard not to stay there for long.

Answer

I’d try your OBGYN first. They can do bloods and tests and it’s also cheaper in my opinion.

Answer

Depends on your insurance. My insurance required me to see my OB to get a referral to a RE. 
For me, i went to my OB first in which she ordered an ultrasound and HSG. She told me she had to send me to an RE for treatment. She highly recommended my RE because I had a blocked tube and he was one of the few surgeons left who will actually try to fix it vs remove. Unfortunately it was all unnecessary stress and worry as my tube seized during the HSG but was wide open during surgery (Thank God!) However, my RE found that my uterus was heart shaped (not found by my OB) and fixed it during the surgery. OBs work closely with REs and mine made an excellent recommendation. My RE is now treating me with fertility medication. 
My biggest advise is to document everything you either have or can remember. Anything you can bring to an appointment with an OB or RE is valuable. Good luck on your search and Baby Dust to you and your husband.

Answer

I wouldn’t waste time and would make an appointment as soon as possible.  Good luck! 😀

Answer

Don’t waste time. Both of you get tested by a fertility specialist and at least then you’ll know if there are issues. Best of luck!

Answer

Same boat. I made an appointment and was seen two weeks later!
Most places won’t take you unless you’ve been trying for a year, so I would def call!!

Answer

Usually you need to have your obgyn send a referral and records to a fertility specialist.  Have you exhausted all options with your current obgyn?  As in, bloodwork/ultrasound/semen analysis etc?
I would encourage you to start researching who is well respected in your area/ providers that have helped friends/family/coworkers/neighbors and see who is covered and in-network with your insurance.  Go to your appointment with your obgyn and say hey, I found these 2 providers, what are your thoughts on them?  Are you willing to help me with a referral?
Has your current obgyn done any workup or meds for you so far?

Where should I seek help.

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