Why do I even bother

Sorry if this is a long post, but there is alot sitting in my mind this morning. My husband and I have been married 4 years together 7 started trying for our first at the beginning of the year. Prior to all this I had been on the pill for 10 years. So when i ended it. We tried month one....nothing, petiod came on exact day like it would any other month. Month 2 we tried again....nope nothing period exact time. Ok so then i decided to break down and start tracking ovulation. Found my two days were Day 17 and 18 of my cycle and not what this was estimating. So of course we were like crazy high school kids all over again, a good 8 times from friday to sunday night! But to throw another curve ball for the past month and a half hes been having trouble getting or keeping an erection which is an issue that is new to us cause we have never had this issue and i wont deny i fight the thought of me being the reason. So all this being new to us and tracking my days when i finally was able to select high lh surge it pushed my period back to start this coming saturday. Well im so torn on thoughts cause on and off the pill i have never started on a weekend its always been wednesday. So yesterday i felt bloated as crap, boobs were tender and felt like i had watermelons sitting on my chest. And my negative mind i was thinking well its probably nothing again its probably just tender cause Im big boobed anyways. Took my bra off for the day.....for the love of all thats holy it felt like someone was trying to rip them off!! So here i am this morning, i think hey why do you just go take a quick test and see, you never know especially if you start wednesday....or saturday, at the most your are only 6 days out 2-3 at the least......once again nothing, no faint line, not a friggin thing! Of course he is still sleeping so i am trying to keep my emotions about me but i know its only 3 months. But its a worry especially when my mother and her sisters had issues conceiving and or maintaining pregnancy. I know for myself it wasnt until the 8th pregnancy for my mom that i even came along. At this point i dont know how to feel, think, react, and even know what is period symptom, ttc symptoms, pill withdrawl symptom is, i dont know. I just feel dumb about the whole process or maybe even just flat our broken. It will flat our kill me if we cant ever have one. Or heaven for bid we finally succeed and then family history rears its ugly head and then miscarry. But on a side note which i also try and place some blame, I am currently finishing school for Radiology, I graduate in like some 46 days. So some month i write it off as that and say welp after graduation it will happen, then Im like nope ehy isnt it happening now you ovulate you arent broken. Gaaaah! But if so, when is too soon, to even go get help?