TTC with heart condition

So my whole life I have had on and off pain in my heart. I remember being 5ish and calling my mum into my room in the middle of the night complaining of a sore heart. Throughout the years I’d have moments of 20/10 pain where it felt like my heart muscle had been squeezed tight by an invisible hand and then after a minute let go again to breathe it out. I saw a doctor but it wasn’t a regular occurrence so no one did much.

In October 2018 we decide that we would like to have 3rd baby after my husband was almost killed in a workplace accident ☹️ it was one of divine intervention kind of things. It made us remember that we love each other very much and our 2 boys and wanted to add to the family so I promptly got my implanon out.

In nov 218 I noticed that I was having heart palpitations and then about 2 weeks later it doomed on me that I had had them Daily for almost 2 weeks now and thought I’d better see a doctor. It felt like my heart was beating rapidly and then fluttering with a big thump as my normal rhythm cut back in again. This of course was very distressing and I was hospitalised by my doctor only to come out the other end with no diagnosis.

I saw a cardiologist who strapped me to a 24 hour monitor and got my readings. He saw the flutters etc on the screen and diagnosed me with incomplete sinus tachycardia. This just means that my hearts natural pacemaker is broken and the incomplete means there’s no apparent reason for it. I begin medicine to slow my heart rate down but this isn’t helping. We’ve tried multiple doses and it’s still not slowing it down.

I stress about this condition and how it makes me feel so much that it doesn’t help the heart feel any better and my heart doesn’t make trying to have a baby any easier and being pregnant will make my heart rate go even faster (as it always does even in a health pregnancy). On top of all this I will probably get gestational diabetes again like I did with my boys so I have a lot to contend with.

I just feel like one big mess. My husband is SO supportive. He’s honestly the best human being ever and tries hard to make things easier for me.

Because of all of this I explained to my husband that I would prefer to only tell his mum and my parents and sister about the baby when I do fall pregnant because of how difficult it’s going to me for me I couldn’t bare having to explain everyone what happened to the baby if I don’t end up with a baby in my arms at the end of all of this.

I guess I’m just wondering if I’m alone in this shit show or is there someone out there who can relate and tell me how they went?