How to be okay

When God says no. I am trying so hard to not be mad. I have received so many blessings recently and I am so thankful. It just took me forever to get to this point. I'm not patient at all and I just feel more tired than I need to be.

Sorry this is random but I guess what I really want is a friend. Its been about 7 years since I've had a decent friend. I've tried everywhere, church, park with my littles, mom blogs on fb in my town, and it never ends up in anything. Its like I'm not worthy of having a friend. I have my fiance/husband. (Also does it count in God's eyes if we had a ceremony but didn't sign any legal papers) but sometimes I just want a girl to talk to. I mean I pray and talk to God a lot. Y'all know what I'm saying right?