Being on the outside sucks...

I finally had to tell my amazing other half today that I had to step out on certain matters regarding my wonderful step kids. I can’t even be at doctors appointments or dentals appointments with him and them without the HCBM getting offended and saying its not appropriate. We have the kids 50/50 and I am deeply involved in every aspect of their lives, including school, and caring for them like they’re my own. And she is turning caring for them into a pissing contest about “but I’m the mom” when I have never claimed otherwise, or tried to step into that role of mom, especially having had both a mom and a stepmom myself. I am just hurt that I am being blocked from helping take care of the kids... that’s all I want, to take care of them... and I will never be welcome in her eyes.