My ex and I

So almost a month ago my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because I was going off to college, how I need a lot of attention and he wouldn’t be able to give it to me cause he’d be busy with band and school. I didn’t believe it since we made plans for how I’d visit him and I chose a college in the same city so we can spend time. We broke up before but not for long only 3ish days. Afterwards it was very shaky until last night. When he made a really bad decision. It scared the hell out of me and caused me to panic. He felt so bad and tried to make it up for me. He wants to be friends with me and it honesty fucks me up. I want to date him cause I love him so much and I know he loves me. But he said we can’t and only be friends. It hurts a lot and today we hung out for the first time since the breakup. All I thought about was holding his hand and kissing him. I restrained myself but i wish i can do it. I was in the friendzone last year around this time. I don’t know what to do.