HELP! Can only O during Masturbation

So I started masturbating when I was very little. Like, before I can remember. I didn't know what it was I was doing of course. I found that out when I was 13. I just knew if I layed on my fists and pressed hard enough, after a while it felt really good. There was literally nothing sexual about it. I wasn't making humping motions or fingering or anything. Of course that changed when I figured out what I was doing and I started experimenting to see if I could make it better. Any kind of penetration does nothing. Like, it can feel good to press on the g-spot but it does nothing to get me to orgasm. Only clitoral stimulation works.

So my problem is, I've been married 5 years now and have never orgasmed during actual sex. We've tried various things and I've come close several times but just can't quite get there. I don't understand! I'm so good at getting myself there but can't seem to get the techniques I use to translate to sex! I thought masurbation was supposed to help you figure it out! Any tips?