Why me? 😥

Soo my husband and I have been together for 4 years (married for 1) at the beginning of our relationship we were very on and off in the first year but always loved each other.
During the off time my husband (boyfriend at the time) made another girl pregnant (he did not love her nor did he want the baby) I came back into the picture to only find out this devastating news but they then both decided it would be better to terminate the pregnancy.
During these 4 years my husband and I have never really used protection and in the last few month we have decided to start trying for a baby.
I know I'm different to her and all the rest but deep down in the back of my mind I'm so angry with him still and the fact that she got pregnant when they both clearly didn't want it and now we're here trying when we really want it ... Hmmmm just a little vent to get it off my chest ...but any advice would help too :)
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