Pre-Eclampsia My 1st Pregnancy

I guess I’m posting to vent. I’m currently pregnant with my 2nd child. I am 11 weeks and 4 days along.

I’m high risk.. because I got severe pre-eclampsia at 24 weeks and 4 days. I went in to the Labor and Delivery January 17, 2018 because I had a severe enough headache for 3 days that it made me weak and sick. I developed floaters in my left eye.. and my face and feet swelled up. My doctor didn’t think it be pre-eclampsia so early on so she had just prescribed me a headache medicine. Needless to say she was shocked when she was informed I was admitted.

My mom called me and my fiancé that evening before being admitted and said that God asked her to invite us over so she can pray over me. We get there and we ate dinner and played a dice game. Mid-way through the game my mom made the comment of “your face looks really swollen..” so we stopped and I got some reason typed in google “swollen face, floaters in eye, severe headache in early pregnancy” and pre-eclampsia popped up and as I said it out loud my mother got up from the table and went to grab her blood pressure machine. I wasn’t sure why. I didn’t know the dangers of high blood pressure because I was a body builder and fitness leader for the Navy. So she pumped it up and it came back Err. She pumped it up on my other arm to 180 and came back Err. She did my dads as we waited to do mine again. And it read his, so she knew the machine was working. She tried mine again.. pumped up to 210 and came back Err.. so she tried again and pumped up to 220 (cutting circulation off) and it finally read 217/115. My normal is 120/60. She thought it was wrong and tried herself and my fiancé. So we decided that she would take me to CVS in Jenks, OK and take it on their machine. We get there.. and we ask to use a machine and it read 220/120. The pharmacist said “you need to take her in to the hospital right now”

My mom subtly looked at me and said “let me drive” and me not knowing why but I let her. I was immediately admitted and had come to find out, as they taped pillows all around my hospital bed, that if I had t come in.. that the chances me me having a seizure or stroke that night in sleep would’ve been high. They immediately put me on a magnesium drip. And took urine sample before monitoring my urine. They looked for protein in the urine. Normal is 0-99 protein.. my urine sample came back 6,000. So my kidneys were failing.. for two days I was bed ridden. Got two steroid shots for my baby’s lungs to get stronger.. by the second day they did an ultrasound and they saw a reverse flow in the umbilical chord.. they explained that my body’s organs were shutting down and to save them, my body started pulling back what it needed from my baby. So I was rushed to have a C-section.

My daughter was born at 10:30am and she weighed 14.4 oz! Her fingers the size of coffee straws.. the size of a beanie baby bear. Her thighs the size of my pinky.. her hand couldn’t wrap around my fingertip. We spent 116 Days in the NICU. Now she’s 18lns and perfectly healthy!

So I am terrified this pregnancy. I miscarried a couple months ago.. actually, on my daughters 1st birthday. I know the first is always the roughest. And all are different. I didn’t think I’d have another but I wanted one. And now that I am.. I have nights where I get anxiety. Just thinking of it all. The c section was brutal. The magnesium, anesthesia, surgery itself. Epidural etc. made me so weak as I already was and just makes me think of it happened again.. I don’t know what to do.

Anyone have a complication first pregnancy and then fine after? If not, don’t say! I don’t want to be more stressed out!