boyfriend keeps messing up the simple things

we have been together for a year and half now and things have always been good btw us but since day one i feel like i have had to tell him how i want to be treated and how to do it. he was in one previous relationship before this and from what he says, her standards weren’t that high compared to what i expect from him. but what i think is basic stuff in a relationship are things he lacks. such as showing affection daily & not just when sex is involved, listening to the things i say, checking in to make sure i’m home safe, etc. he has gotten better throughout the time we have been together but it’s never consistent. i feel like i always have to remind him to do those things. and if i don’t get upset and even angry at times , it’s like he won’t take it serious or just says he will work on it but never actually does. we are only 21 and he is still growing up and everything but like really man?? i don’t get it. i don’t want to leave him bc i truly an in love with him and i know he cares & wants to make us work, but at what point do i stop settling for this half ass effort he gives?