So, the backstory is that I've always been heavy due to hormonal imbalances, even though I'm doing good to eat once a day. I feel extreme shame every single time I eat, no matter what it is or how long it's been since I've eaten. I went to camp for a week when I was 16 and I ate one meal and 2 poptarts the entire week.

I currently work in a lab, and for lab appreciation week our QC manager bought pizza and cookies for everyone. I hadn't eaten since yesterday around 8pm. I got off my shift at 3 and walked through the break room.

I sneaked a piece of pizza and actually hid in the bathroom to eat. I cried through every bite. I'm so tired of this overwhelming shame. It doesn't make any sense, but it's so real.

Doctors don't take me seriously because I'm heavy. I have health issues associated with anorexia and not eating, but all the doctors say is "push away from the table" "lose weight" "stop snacking".

My therapist actually does care, but says I have a very healthy approach to life, so inpatient treatment isn't necessary, just to keep reaching out to release some of the shame.

I needed to get this off my chest so I can start taking some steps to get healthy.