So I had my daughter exactly one week ago, let me say I am in love with her. I love being a mother and I cannot be happier that I created this little life 💕

I am living with my mother temporarily, next month I am moving out of state I just wanted to give my baby some time so she doesn’t get sick once we leave. She is as happy as I am, maybe a little more that she is a grandmother but I’m slowly but surely noticing that I will not have her around as much. This whole week she’s done nothing but criticize me and I’m done with it, it is what it is. My mother drinks almost every other day, not like sips wine and chill, she drinks vodka and patron and gets super fucked up all the time. She also smokes cigarettes heavily. However, she made a rule that no one can smoke in the house, for the safety of the baby. Yesterday I went to take my baby to her in an attempt to get her to feed her so I could finish what I was doing really quickly. When I got to the door I could already smell the cigarettes and that took me back so I immediately changed my mind. She comes in my room laughing saying that she doesn’t want to hold her cause she’s drunk and she doesn’t want to be around her like that and I just looked at her. A few hours later I laid my baby down and I laid down next to her and slept for at least 45 minutes (I know from a post I put on Snapchat) when I woke up my mom was sitting at the edge of my bed with my baby in her arms, (still drunk) saying that the baby was crying and she didn’t want to wake me. Every time my baby cries when I’m asleep, I wake up. So this kind of bugged me. I didn’t think anything of it tho I just took her back and fed her then let her sleep again. The next morning my mom says she saw her sleeping so she just sat there and held her. I don’t have a problem with her being around my child, I would rather her be sober when she’s around her though. So I had a doctors appointment for my baby today and she slept majority of the day so by the time we got home she was really hungry, I am breastfeeding and formula feeding her so she gets both. She was a little fussy today and my mom goes “she’s used to being in the womb and she’s crying because she feels abandoned because you won’t wrap her up” .. the fuck? But I didn’t swaddle her because it’s 80 degrees in the house and I can see her sweating like crazy so I said “she’s fine the way she is” I guess that made her mad so she called my fiancé and tells him that she’s not about to keep talking to me and that my baby shouldn’t be crying like that because she’s too young 🙄 girl come on if there was something wrong with her YOU’D KNOW. Babies cry. I just don’t see how she’s judging me as a mother based off of a week. Yes, this is my first child. I am very overprotective of her because of things that happened to me in the past. My mom feels like she should be able to come and take my daughter out of my room whenever she wants to just because she’s her grandmother and I don’t agree with that. Also, she feels like she doesn’t have to wash her hands when she comes in from outside and she feels like she can kiss my baby whenever she wants to. When I tell her to wash her hands she looks at me like I’m crazy like I said something wrong to her and she walks away with an attitude. Then when I tell her not to kiss her, she says “this is my grandbaby I can do what I want” um no the fuck you cant, I don’t want anybody kissing her at all and that’s just me. Don’t put your lips on my baby, idc who you are. Also, she has this attitude like she feels that every time one of her friends come over that I should come and show the baby to them, I feel uncomfortable with it because she’s not a toy or a show and tell act. My mom acts like my baby is a toy or something like she loves to hold her all day and I don’t really like other people holding her, I’m very protective of her but that’s just me, and my mom knows this but she doesn’t care. My mom doesn’t even know how to change her diaper correctly and she criticizes everything I do. But about her friends, majority of these people don’t even care about her so I’m not going to keep letting you show her off like she’s a toy. I’m over it at this point tho, she’s going to be upset when I tell her she can’t pick my baby up AT ALL. Like it’s my decision in the end and she’s messing up on all ends with me. Lately, I’ve been a little frustrated too, but my frustration is towards my fiancé because of our own personal stuff we have going on, and every time he makes me angry my mom ends up coming around and she constantly asks me “what’s wrong” I always say nothing because, it’s not her business. No, I do not trust her, she’s the type of person that if you tell her your business, as soon as you leave she’s going to call any and everybody and whatever you told her, she’s telling them. But, I said nothing and she goes “oh you’re just tired” and I didn’t say anything like alright I guess. Then he made me upset again and she goes “what’s wrong” I say nothing and she goes “oh you’re just tired” and I don’t say anything back again. Then today I heard her on the phone saying how I’ve been depressed and that I’m tired and that she’s here but I won’t say anything to her. I am not tired, I love my baby, I love the late nights when she wakes up to eat, I love all of it. I don’t have any sadness or anything. The only thing I really feel is that I want my stomach to go back down 💀😂 but who doesn’t? I’m just fed up with her already. Sorry if this story is all over the place but I had to get this out some type of way before my head explodes.