Pms and anti birth control problems

My period is changing so much I’m scared first it was super late because of stress because of my best friend dying and i thought I was pregnant, then my period came then and it was like normal. My period after that was super heavy I thought I was having a miscarriage, I’m talking buckets of blood. Now im Pmsing so bad and I just want to die, I already have emotional problems. AND im not “allowed” to go on birth control aka, my parents won’t help me pay for it and I have no insurance so I can’t get it cheap. I also am not “allowed” to get a job. So I can’t get money or benefits. I don’t even know what to do at this point.