Can I hate my boyfriend?

Love is a very strong emotion and so is its polar opposite, hate. I love my boyfriend dearly and we have been through so much over the years. Before my mom died he asked for her blessing to marry me and she gave her blessing and a gift to him. We have known each other since we were high school freshman (separate schools) and even dated in high school for a brief moment lol but love finds its way back around and by way of serendipity we both ended up in the same city and state (back home) for a formal scholarly event we were both invited to. We have been together pretty much since that night when we saw each other again. We have not made the 5 year mark in our dating relationship but are invested in each other and speak of marriage, children, careers on a regular basis.

All this sounds great. However, my Bf has changed over the years and between high school and college he has been hurt by other girls. He has a lot of of baggage from his childhood, college, spiritual life and mental health (undiagnosed). I have loved him through it all and I mean ALL of it, HURT people HURT people. And I’ve been hurt on many occasions. I’ve mentioned the good but not so much if the bad, just take my work that it’s REALLY BAD. At this point, I feel spurts if hate for him as strongly as I feel love. This is not constant but I’ve become less tolerant of him. He can attest that I’ve never snapped at him, cursed at him, or even hung up the phone on him. However he has done this to me. I’ve tried to be supportive but he is against seeking individual treatment and only recently agreed to couples counseling. Individual treatment may be covered my insurance and is much needed. I have accepted the fact that I can’t very well support him if it means I’m constantly being hurt. Analogy: it’s like trying to save someone who is drowning but they don’t use the life saver you hand them, instead they just frantically climb on to of you, flail their arms hitting to in the face and push you down to try to stay afloat. I love him very much and want the best for him, I want him but I also need my own health. People are quick to say “leave him” “why would you stay that’s stupid” but that’s not my question. Should i give us a break or attempt to have my man, my peace, and my relationship?