No or extremely low libido. TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE and SELF HARM

I’m 21, i have been with my boyfriend also 21, for almost 3 years. We live together and i have really never had a sex drive.

I was raped and molested as a child, and have anxiety, depression, and BPD (borderline personality disorder). At almost 16 i started my period and later that year i was sent to treatment for self harm, severe dissociation, and depression which was when i was put on birth control (jolessa where you get your period every 3 months). I feel like before being sent away that i at least could get horny sometimes and i remember a boy fingering me and i was wet (14/15 years old ?) . I’m always dry now and do not get horny, which means KY Jelly every time which still can hurt from the dryness. Thursday April 18, i stopped birth control to see if that could be the reason, and my gynecologists did a hormone test which came back normal... which is pretty upsetting to me. I am on Effexor for anxiety which seems to work but I’m wondering if that’s also the culprit but i can’t go off it unless extremely slow and control due to severe withdraws and getting so bad again (did that before really young and ended up bleeding nearly to death from cutting so bad leading me to my 3rd psych ward admission). And also my doctor just about 5 months ago increased the dosage due to constant panic attacks again.

I’m at a loss. I’m also constantly fatigue and just so tired. Iv been sleeping during the days especially when i nanny during nap time and just soo exhausted which i used to be FULL of energy and go go go all the time. If you have ANY questions, I’ll be more than willing to answer.