I don’t want to be with my husband anymore

Caylah • Penelope Eileen #NothingDownAboutIt💛💙 IG:caylahmscott 💙baby boy due June2020💙

I have come at my wits end with the guy I have been with since October 2016. Married and had a little girl with Down syndrome since... I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know what this is. This was our 3rd huge fight in 6 months and I don’t want to keep doing this. But if I leave I won’t get to see her everyday. I will have to get a job and won’t be able to stay at home with her. I am balling my eyes out typing this because I don’t want her to end up like me and be torn between two homes for the rest of her life. He has threatened before to take her from me. Saying that he won’t let me take her away and not see him. Which I have never stated bc I would never since I am the one who has went through it my whole life. I have so much hate for him and the way he has done me. I thought things would get better but they haven’t. I don’t even feel connected in anyway to him l, mentally, emotionally or sexually. He makes me feel like a grain of salt. I never wanted anything like this to happen. He is not at home tonight bc I told him that I didn’t know what I felt towards him. But I feel everything. I hate him. I miss the person he use to be. I never want to see or hear from him again.

But I don’t want to put my daughter through anything that she doesn’t need to go through. But I want a man that genuinely loves me and doesn’t just ‘come home to his wife after a day at work and sit on the couch and watch YouTube/play games/ watch anime and dis me.

I have never had a relationship like this. Possibly bc when they got to this point I could get out. Now I can’t bc I have my daughter in the middle of it.

I don’t know what I need to do or what I want or need. I’m lost and eating my way through the house going through this and I just want to get out of this mental state!