Sometimes I miss my old life

It sounds so horrible and I can’t even believe I’m writing it. I love my daughter so much, there aren’t even words to describe it. She is my whole world, but sometimes I miss my life before I had kids.

Today for instance, I’m sick and I’m so tired I just want to lay on the couch and watch tv (what I want to watch). I don’t want to get up but I feel so guilty just leaving my daughter to play (we have an enclosed and fully baby proofed living room) while I just lay down and watch her.

I also find myself getting envious of my husband who still gets to “do” things. For instance he’s going to dinner tonight with an old work colleague to catch up. He’s going to Texas next week to go visit law schools. All while I stay home with our daughter. Sometimes I feel like having a child has changed my life so much and has barely changed his. I just get sort of resentful and jealous.

I would never change having my daughter for the world! And I feel so guilty feeling this way. Hopefully it passes...