I need a girls opinion💋

Heyy girls! I have a few topics to talk about but i really need another girls opinion on the situation because I’m having trouble understanding the mindset of some guys these days and i know i’m not alone 😂👋🏼 we all know guys can be absolute assholes if they want to be but this was definitely one of the last things I would’ve thought 2019 would bring me, so in April 2018 i had gotten close to a group of boys that i’ve known for about 5 years but had never really acknowledged each other until then, there’s omar, ali, bilal and bayram, there’s also my best friend sukran who had introduced me to them years before, but we had all gotten close to the point where we would be together every single day for weeks, they’d stay over at my house for weeks and we’d all just smoke 🍁 and relax, all of the boys at one point except for ali had tried being flirty with me and i had friendzoned them pretty hard, except for omar he was my weakness, we had developed some sorta sexual tension between us and I’d always find myself flirting back with him, he got his own house that he was sharing with his cousin who I’m also friends with, and i stayed there on new years eve and watched the fireworks from his house and it was such an amazing night, i was so happy with how my life was turning out! Obviously nothing lasts hahah but anyways, because he is muslim he doesn’t drink but when i went over to his house one day he had a bottle of vodka and instantly i was in shock and excited cause I personally love alcohol but not all the time, but he got drunk for the first time with me and my friend sukran and his cousin hamed, it was such a fun and insane night looking back on it, we all got a bit too cocky and a week or so later I decided to buy some vodka and bacardi, he wanted to come over as soon as he seen the bottles so I obviously said come through, when he got to mine it was only me there and sukran was getting ready at hers (we’re neighbours) so she was coming when she was done, when he got here he wanted to drink straight away and me being too cocky had a few too many drinks to the point where i blacked out and don’t remember much, but what i do remember is hooking up with him and sukran was standing there in shock and she ended up leaving my house which resulted in me and omar having sex, no protection no Recollection!😂👋🏼 which Isn’t something I’m proud about because i was happy with how things were and I definitely didn’t want that while i was sober and i had a major pregnancy scare, I didn’t have a day after pill or anything because i was too embarrassed to tell anyone what had happened until a few weeks later, but that night i had blacked out the last thing i can remember is waking up to someone at my door and when i woke up i was still drunk af lemme tell you that much, it was my mum and i was in so much shock I hadn’t even realised at that point what had happened between me and omar, and there i was half naked in front of my mum and it’s safe to say it was the most shameful experience in my life, she was beating me in front of him while calling me a slut, i was so confused because I didn’t remember anything, but sukran and her sister offered to drop him off home so i went for a drive, and it was on the way to his house I remembered what had happened and that he had actually fucked me and I started freaking out to myself until he left, as soon as he was gone reality hit me and i had realised what happened and I couldn’t atop crying, that was my virginity and i was tryna save it until marriage, the next day he called sukran asking for all his stuff he left in my room and told her that he was so drunk and he didn’t know what he was doing and i feel the same way, but he hasn’t spoken to me since, and he told all of the boys what had happened and I didn’t know he told them, after all that happened i stopped seeing all of them, it happened out of nowhere and everyone was pretty shocked but they had all stopped contact with me anyways, ali came over a few months ago and that was the first time anyone of my friends except for sukran has been here, and then ali came again with bilal and we had some drinks, out of all of them me and bilal were the closest, 2016-2018 he lived in Malaysia and we had become close because we were texting/calling every day and he surprised me by coming back last year, so for us to go through all of this and to what has just recently happened will continue to amaze me 🙃 he didn’t message that much after everyone stopped coming over and everyone really started throwing serious shade on my name for no reason and then he started messaging me explaining what was being said, he came over two weeks ago and we had a session and watched a movie, I’ve always had a small thing for bilal though, and everyone use to say he liked me but i laughed it off and didn’t believe it, he came over and he was saying i looked good and me being stupid fell right into his trap, and he kissed me and I obviously kissed him back, he ended up staying the night but nothing else happened besides us kissing and stuff🤫👅 but he was hella cute, holding my hand, kissing my forehead, cuddling with me and shit, obviously to get what he wanted but i never thought id be played by someone that meant that much to me, he left the next day and he gave me a kiss before he left, he messaged me constantly for days after, then something about me and omar got brought up and he told me that he heard i gave omar head and it was in the past i got over it but clearly it triggered something because he stopped talking to me, he keeps posting shit on his snapchat story saying “you’re too blind to see whats good for you” and a week ago he sent me a video of omar with no shirt on and the caption was “😏” he is a really respectful and genuine person but this is a side to him I didn’t think id see, we still keep in contact but there’s obvious tension on his behalf whenever we talk to eachother and its a lot to process I don’t know if they have some bet going with me or what but I’m not making that mistake again

This has been long af omg I am sorry and thank you for reading if you could even pass the first few words😂💖 this is my current situation and i need some advice/opinions, does he even like me or is he playing me like im some dumb bitch, im in denial because even though hes putting me through this i still love him 🙃🙃