I believe...

I was only seventeen, sitting across from you, a box of Special K in between us, begging you not to leave me. I had no idea how to live without you. You claimed that you still loved me, and always would, but you found someone that made you happier. I tried to understand but I couldn’t. I couldn’t understand how someone could make you happier than me. I knew that I had made some mistakes but I never knew that they would make you leave. I couldn’t help but remember all the promises you made me, that you would never leave me, that I would always come first, and that no one would ever replace me. You warned me that this may happen but I never thought that you actually meant it. I said everything I could to make you stay. I know that some of it probably hurt you and I’m so sorry for when I said that I hated you. We both know I didn’t mean it but the words were burning my tongue, I had to get them out. I’ll love you forever. Of course I want you to be happy, but I had no idea that it would cause me so much pain. Of course, I knew that we wouldn’t be together forever but I didn’t expect you to leave so soon. To be completely honest I thought this would be the other way around. Everytime I imagined it I was leaving and you were asking me not to go, but it's starting to get clearer that things never go the way you imagine. I’ve spent countless showers watching my fingers get pruney and thinking what I could have done or said to make you stay for just a little while longer. Everyone tells me that there's nothing I could have done but I can’t help but think that they’re all wrong. They had no idea all the things I put you through or all the times I took you for granted or every time I knowingly asked too much of you.

I think I was the most blindsided by how clean the break was for you. I thought that you would at least still be there for me. I thought you would at least just be a phone call away. It didn’t take long before the sound of your voice was replaced by a voicemail and a beep. And then not too long after that a message saying, “The mailbox is full and cannot accept any messages at this time. Goodbye.” I had never felt so lost before. I never truly understood how much I depended on you.

I believe that a girl always needs her mom, no matter how old she gets.

This is an essay I'm writing for my final senior essay. I really want the ending to throw you off. I want to to spark emotion. Please tell me if it did:))

UPDATE: I am in no way asking for pity!! While this wasnt a pleasant experience, I have grown tremendously from it, and thats all that matters at this point. I just really like to know if it made you sad, or at least feel something lol. My biggest goal with sharing this is to make people actually feel something because we don't do that very much in this world.