Relationship problems?!?! :(

Hi. So this is the first time I’ve ever asked for advice on my relationship.. It’s one complicated story, and I’m honestly helpless at this point for advice. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years (2 years on and off) ever since I was 14, now I’m 19. He immigrated to the US for us to be together, and we’ve waited for this our WHOLE lives. We’ve done long distance since we met, and ever since he met me he’s said I was the one. But our pasts are killing us, whenever we were on breaks we would talk to other people, he had sex with other girls, but I never did except with him, but I would talk to other guys, show it off to him, obviously I wasn’t doing the right things and that ruined us now.. We literally stop talking about the past for a week, and then somehow I bring up a girl he used to talk to, and it comes into this HUGE fight that literally has gotten us to the point where we push each other, and say the worst of the worst things to each other.. I’m a very jealous girl as well, but he always makes jokes how other girls are hot whatever. I know our love is insane, and we DO love eachother, I worked so hard for our relationship, and never said anything to anyone about our problems, but I didn’t want to let anyone close know so I decided to ask you guys first on what YOU think... We’ve tried saying we won’t bring up the past, but we hurt each other extremely bad in the past, and have the worst attitude towards eachother and say I hate you I don’t want you in my life, but ALSO can’t live without each other... I’m at lost, I love him so much and everything mean I say is just because im so mad at the past and everything could have been perfect if we just were more mature.. What should we do?