Why do I do this

I’m 9 weeks and 4 days, I had my first US yesterday and baby was alive, wiggling, Heart was beating away at 175bpm. I was excited for about 10 minutes, then I started looking at miscarriage after healthy heartbeat. Now I’m terrified again. A lot of these women tend to be older than I am that are sharing their stories but I’m still in panic mode again. I hate this. Why can’t I be excited😔