Fat Insecurity

I feel like we all struggle with body issues at some point in our lives. My whole life I've been bigger/chunky.

Recently, I've lost weight. Personally, I don't see the difference too much but people always tell me that I look thinner.

It's weird because I have this thought in my head of "I'm fat" that seems to never diminish. My mother has hinted at me being overweight my entire life. She's not a bad woman. I know there's moms out there that do/say much more damaging things to their daughters than anything my mom ever said so I'm not upset with my mom. I know she loves me, but I've grown up under the impression I was too big. I see pictures of me as a little girl in swimsuits and remember how I was so insecure back then about my thighs or my stomach. Thinking about it breaks my heart knowing that at such a young age, I was already insecure about my body.

It's the little things that add up in your mind that get you to this conclusion of being too fat. It's a compilation of everything that has been done or said to you that leads you to seeing yourself negatively. I've always been the chunkier friend in the group.

What crushed me a lot is when I was dumped for being too heavy. Being told those things, feeling punished for who you are, it sucks, it really does.

Although as I've been getting older, I've become more body positive and overall more confident in my skin physically. I'm learning to be okay with my curves and not look at them as a flaw.

It's just sad to think about how no matter how much weight I lose, I will always have this thought engraved in my mind that I'm too big. It's even sadder knowing that I'm not the only one who will experience this type of insecurity that continues to stick with you no matter what.

I just ask, that we all try to learn to love ourselves. It takes time and I'm not even there yet myself. We are not disgusting because of our "flaws", we are all human beings with unique features that make up who we are as individuals.

I've attached some photos of myself in underwear as a symbol of body confidence. I'm not a model, I have selected these photos not because I think They're sexy or whatever but because this is my body and it's not "perfect", but I'm not gunna hide from it anymore.

The photos below are not what I'd call the most flattering because I want to be real about my physique. I'm not gunna be ashamed of what my body is. I invite you all to take this as a message that will inspire you to not be insecure about who you are and to embrace what makes you who you are.

Thanks for reading guys <3