To Have Another or No?

Our daughter is 7 months old now and we’re talking about whether we want another baby. A little bit about us: we are financially secure. Late 20’s and late 30’s. Our last pregnancy was complicated by gestational diabetes and I had severe morning sickness all day for the first 20 weeks. We think if I lose weight it would help with the next pregnancy.

But I also had a traumatic birthing experience and pregnancy. At 20 weeks, I was diagnosed with placenta previa, making it dangerous for me to go into labor. I ended up going into labor the night before my schedule c-section and they were able to wait until the morning to do the procedure. Then, when they did the epidural, they overshot and it ended up being a spinal block, I was incredibly out of it, and my husband thought I was dead on the table.

We both love our baby and we are both supportive of having another one. But I’m not 100%. Keeping our daughter an only child gives her 100% of the attention, love and money her parents and family members can give. Having another one seems selfish.

What do you think? Are you a parent who had another and wishes she hadn’t? Or a parent who regrets their decision not to have more? Did you grow up an only child and long for a sibling? I want to hear how being an only child impacted you.

190 views • 0 upvotes • 4 comments

COMMENT (4)

Na

Posted at
Some of your pregnancy issues may have been due to your husband being older if he's the one in his late 30s. There are more complications in pregnancies where the male is older even if the woman is young. Just something to be aware of! Losing weight may help, but you may also want to talk to your doctor or read up on what risks are increased by paternal age.We did decide to have a second but it took me until my first was 3 to come around to the idea. There are pros and cons either way. Some people love being an only child and others feel like they missed out on siblings.I wouldn't worry about making a "selfish" decision. Doing what you feel is best for you and your family is what's most important.

Li

Posted at
I had an amazing pregnancy and thought for sure I'd want to do it again but then I had postpartum anxiety and thought there was no way I wanted to go through the postpartum again!Now my daughter is 10 months and I'm back on the second baby train...I feel like its selfish not to have another one! I dont want her to be an only child!

Za

Zakia • May 27, 2019
Wait for a few years, you may change your mind

Za

Posted at
I had the same experience, a terrible labour. My daughter is three months old. I think you should give it a few more months and then talk about it again, now may seem a bit too soon as your pressure will double once a new arrival arrives.