Still grieving . Please pray

I would not wish this on my worst enemy. 10 months later and every cycle that rolls around I’m still in pain. My heart breaks.i have spiraled out of control . I’m losing my mind. I’m still young I want my peace back and enjoy MY life.

But instead I feel the need to recreate life . I don’t think it will stop until I actually have a kid. But only God can give me the peace