This is the end...

I’m deciding this will most likely be my last post to this group. I’ve enjoyed sharing everyone’s joys of announcements, all the while fighting the pain of my own new disappointments. One more month, one more negative test. Doctor bill after doctor bill of failed

IUI

’s, symptom spotting, hoping, praying....I’m over it all. So many say, “Just stop trying...that’s when it will happen.” How exactly do I do that? How do I not secretly hope that this time is it? How do I not be intentional with my faith and my action?

I’m learning to cope with the reality that this is just not for me. I’m heartbroken and confused, but one day I will get over it...I’m certain of that fact. Congratulations to every mommy who gets to cry at the moment of finding out their pregnant, who will watch their bellies grow, the vomiting and food aversions...holding that baby in your arms, knowing this is your prayer made manifest....