Living with PCOS

This may sound stupid some but I don't know who else to talk to. No one around here understands how I feel living with PCOS and the pain I feel every month not being able to conceive a beautiful gift from God. This month seem's harder than ever my period is a week late which as you women know means jack squat with our condition I pray it's a baby but deep deep down I know it's not and it's killing me. I have this question that comes into my head with every negative test or with every period, what is a mom? What does it take for a woman to have a baby and why am I not good enough to have a little miracle what makes me so bad.. I will love my baby I already do so much I will do anything in my power to protect my baby but it's like that's not good enough for God. I'm at the end I have this empty feeling inside of me. I just need someone anyone who knows what I'm going through anyone who knows this gut wrenching pain of want and need. How do you handle it every month, how do you do it. Knowing it's so easy for people who neglect their baby's and abuse them but it's impossible for us who want nothing more in this world than to be a mom.