If you felt your OB was uncaring during your loss, did you switch?

Question

I’ve lost two babies this year. The first was during week 4 so I hadn’t yet called a doctor, the second was during week 7 and the doctor had a nurse call me to give me the information, and when she did, she began “this is a curtesy call”, when I went in for a follow up, she didn’t seem to know what to do when I cried in her office, and after an ultrasound 9 days ago to make sure my uterus is ready for a new pregnancy, she still hasn’t called with the results (I called twice to request the results). 
I feel like, yes I should definitely switch, but just wanted to hear other peoples’ stories.

Answer

Switch now.  I’ve posted about my horror story with my last obgyn you can click on my name and read my post if you want.  But once you find the right doctor it’s like night and day.  The place I switched to is super accommodating, has an ultrasound tech in office if there are ever any issues, and genuinely gives a crap about me.  The day I had my ultrasound scheduled for my last pregnancy they were closed because of a bad snow storm so I had to go to an outpatient place because something told me not to wait and to get it done ASAP, and of course I find out the baby’s heart had stopped the week prior.  A doctor from my obgyn’s office called me literally as soon as I got home, EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE CLOSED, to make sure I was okay and tell me my next steps.  He listened to me cry and was a f****ing angel when I needed it most.  If you don’t love your doctor look around please.  They don’t all suck.

Answer

I switched after my appointment where she told me it wasnt a viable pregnancy, and went to a different practice to see me the rest of the way through the loss. It was that bad. I am now with the new Dr for this pregnancy and he's been fantastic

Answer

If she’s not responding to your concerns then absolutely switch. My dr walked me through the entire ultrasound process as it was happening there was no waiting for results. She needs to take the time to answer your questions it’s part of her job.

Answer

I would switch. With my first miscarriage they were not very caring and I immediately changed doctors. It is such an intimate, personal, and upsetting situation and you want to feel cared for when it is happening. My current doctor is amazing and when I had my third miscarriage she took the time to talk with me and let me know that she understood what I was going through. It was worth the doctor change

Answer

My Dr was on vacation during one of my losses and she took time to call me personally... while on vacation!?😭💗 I'm never switching!  I've been with her for over a decade. If she wasn't as compassionate as she is I would switch in a heartbeat. I see her and the NP in ther office and both have been fabulous.  Both are amazing humans.  There are amazing dr's out there. Don't settle for less.

Answer

I switched my doctor after I found out my baby’s heart stopped. He didn’t seem too caring and after calling for a week about my D&C and not getting a call I switched my doctor and she already had my surgery scheduled before I met with her. She seems to be understanding and wants to help me. You do what you think is best. It’s your body and you need to advocate for yourself.

Answer

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve been there too and it’s horrible. After my second loss, I asked if I should see an infertility specialist or at least run tests as I felt something was off and had been having other symptoms to point to this. She told me I was a stressed out nurse and to find another job with less stress yet in the time I loss those two, 22 nurses I worked with had gotten pregnant. I wanted to throat punch her. I had another miscarriage but didn’t tell my doctor out of fear of her reaction but that made me realize I had enough. I changed to the midwives and she actually found a tumor on my thyroid. After that was removed, I got pregnant again and she decided to do testing. My levels were all off and I lost the baby. I was a mess but so was she. She hugged me and cried with me sharing that she, too, had been there. That simple gesture made a world of difference and I’m so glad I switched. I hope the best for you!

Answer

If she's a good doctor in general, then no I wouldn't switch. Some people aren't good with emotions but it doesn't mean they don't care. And unfortunately not all doctors have a good beside manner, but it doesn't mean that she is a bad doctor.

Answer

My doctor has been amazing! She say there and talked to me and took her time, she even printed out a picture of my baby that way I had a memory. She gave me a hug and tissues and asked me what I wanted. I asked to wait one week and do another ultrasound to confirm. We did that. We talked about options and how I wanted to go about my loss. I did 12 losses either naturally or with a pill and then the last one I did a D&C. Even though she didn't perform it she came and checked on me. 
She let me guide my journey and has been so supportive. We talked about not trying anymore and moving forward with adoption and she helped with research and sources for us to get information with. She personally called me when she was in Italy on vacation when she found out I was pregnant (surprise) to congratulate me and tell me she is super excited. 
She was with me for 5 losses. My other losses were done elsewhere. I should have switched sooner. I was devastated and crying in the waiting room and was asked to leave because I was worrying other patients. My doctor at the time said I shouldn't cry that's miscarriage is normal and not that big of a deal in the first trimester. I broken-down crying and she told me she couldn't handle a weak patient. It was a traumatizing experience. My new doctor is amazing and so sweet, I am so glad I switched.

If you felt your OB was uncaring during your loss, did you switch?

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