I am struggling...

My SO and I have completely different communication styles. The way he approaches things with me, just makes me very defensive. I tried to give him ideas on better ways to communicate with me that are less hurtful, but he thinks he shouldn’t have to adjust his communication style.

Tonight, he explained I need to contribute more around the house. I am a SAHM with our 10 week old daughter. I grocery shop, cook 5 nights a week, and clean the house. He said for right now that is good, but when our daughter is older I need to contribute more to the “upkeep”. It’s not that I am not willing to help more, but here are examples of what he said regarding this situation:

“Out of everyone I have ever been with, you contribute and do the least.”

“I carry all the burden. You do almost nothing.”

“Home upkeep is not just ‘mans work’, women can do it too.”

“Do you have a low IQ, or are you just playing dumb right now?”

“Maybe it is just your upbringing and you are naive.”

...so yes, I get defensive. I do my best. Sometimes I feel his expectations are too high and I am set up for failure.

I just needed to vent.