Whenever someone mentions a breakup, generally it brings to mind cheating or perhaps “falling out of love”. Nobody ever really considers the abuse behind closed doors and a lot of people don’t really take in to account or take seriously the physical and emotional violence people actually go through. It can start off brilliant. No signs or anything. But slowly the other half (in my case a guy) slowly bringing in certain things that would make me feel shit. Just controlling, possessive and manipulating behaviour. At first it may seem kind of sweet but as time went it on the it just became uncontrollable. It became a serious issue. There was limited physical abuse but a lot of emotional abuse. This is still domestic abuse! Let me name a few red flags: they make everything about them, they accuse you of things constantly while making you seem like the bad guy (switching it on you and making you end up apologising even though it may have been them needing to apologise), making you feel shit about going out with friends or family, not wanting you to go anywhere, blackmailing you etc. It feels like there’s no way out. It feels like your trapped. Your too embarrassed to actually admit what’s really going on to the people you love even before the part where they try and take you from your family. Even if you actually ended up getting out the relationship, it’s possible they have tried to make your life a living hell. They may make fake accounts to try and harass you. They may spread rumours or tell everybody your secrets as a way to try and scare you into getting back with them because they believes if they do this then it will make you get back with them because you would rather stop the grief and stress they’re putting you through. If this isn’t the reason why they’re doing this then they will probably say something on the new account they’ve made to message you on,, “if you are happier without me then that’s fine I just want you to be happy and I’ll leave you alone” and if you reply whether it’s something negative or not, even if you say “thankyou” it wont stop there. They will act nice. Yes ACT. It’s an act. It’s all fake it’s just a way for them to worm in and ruin you. They will genuinely continue to make you feel disgusting after this because they only sent that “nice” message just so you would respond. Once again, theyve not changed theyre just trying to be perceived as nice and they probably are by a lot of people but they is genuinely not. They won’t do Anything in your favour, they wouldn’t do anything to benefit you. They will do everything for themselves. Not only this, They may even stalk you on social media or real life for example on your way to work or if you are out walking (especially if they know you have a set routine) or non stop trying to contact you. It becomes so out of control and so stressful it becomes to ruin your daily life. You’re scared to go for a walk in your own village or town just in case they come up from behind trying to make a scene or threaten you like they probably have already... Even after they still even say “I love you I’ll leave you alone” or even “I love you” on its own, they don’t stick to their word and stop, and they don’t even show you they care they just show how pyscho they are. Your stomach is buzzing with sickness and anxiety. You can’t take a breathe of fresh air as it all seems to be suffocating you. They are suffocating you in open air!! Someone like this makes you feel trapped and makes you feel so alone and isolated because it is so traumatising. More traumatic than we actually realise. And you may also feel like it’s a rare thing to go through; you don’t know how to report it or whether you should take things into the hand of the law and police, you don’t want to cause more trouble than what’s actually going on because your so exhausted and drained, your so sick and tired of putting up with aggressive and terrifying behaviour from someone you once trusted. It makes you feel so depressed and so stupid. You feel like a fool. You blame yourself thinking you could’ve either prevented this or the act you should’ve known he was like this (the fact they’re the psychopath) and you just regret the decisions you made even if you try not to you do because life would’ve been so much better for yourself if you never once made that choice to be with them. This is not your fault. I promise you that. They was charming and put on an act. This wasn’t the person you actually fell in love with, it’s somebody else, that’s not your fault. But You have no clue what to do. Your overwhelmed and petrified by all the events surrounding you and it may affect you at work because your losing Focus and not concentrating as well as you should be. But none of this is your fault. And you should never have to feel unsafe or threatened or scared within your own work, home or town. Situations like these need to be made more aware of because my 16 year old self had to deal with only a minor case of a domestic relationship