Is anyone else finding everything so hard to deal with? Like everything..

I feel so drained and emotional I've cried so much today and I'm not 100% sure why.. I feel so ugly and fat and just disgusting and I feel like a bad person I don't feel good enough I'm barely talking to my boyfriend or anyone and everyone thinks I'm angry but I just want the hurt to stop.. :( kinda wish I were dead tbh I don't know who to talk to and how to talk about it..