Should I apologize?

Hey ladies,

I have I stepmother that I love, however she is toxic. I believe calling her a narcissist would be a very appropriate would. My whole life she has been controlling and manipulated. I would love to have a relationship with her, but I have come to the conclusion that she will not let that happen. I feel the best thing for me is to cut ties, but it’s been a struggle my whole life because she is the only mom that I have known. She wasn’t always this bad, when I was young she was great, then I turned 18 and it has been downhill from there.

My newest set of issues have been going on for over a year. My stepmom moved back in with her parents to take care of them. None of them get along. She calls and complains about how terrible her dad is, and i told her to just hire a nurse (believe me, they have the money) but she chooses to keep playing victim. Now don’t get me wrong I understand that it cannot be easy, but there are 3 people taking care of them. I feel she can take time to herself to make herself feel better from time to time.

During this time I also became pregnant and she hasn’t really been happy about it. I am also 30, was told I would never have kids, have a good job and a house, also a man that takes amazing care of me. I am really happy with where I am expect for her. She doesn’t like my boyfriend because she thinks he is insecure and jealous. She also thinks he is lazy because last fall we paid someone to rake our leaves due to all the overtime we were working and did I mention we work nights? Yeah hard to rake leaves and work nights.

Anyways she has been going around bad mouthing my boyfriend and I. She offered to rent us her house and I didn’t want it. Then she offered to sign it over to me and I still don’t want it. Two big reasons are because it is infested with mold and I don’t want to have to take care of that especially since I am due in 2 months. 2nd is that control, she will hold it over my head about the house, and I prefer to take care of things on my own. She said I was ungrateful and called and told the rest of her family that. Now she is trying to get me to leave my boyfriend because she says we don’t know enough about each other and we shouldn’t try to buy a house together. Again... I am 8 months pregnant.... she is alittle late for that. Also my boyfriend and I have lived together for almost 3 years.

Finally after dealing with all this stress I sent her a text explaining how I feel about everything.

So since I sent this she has called all her family and told her I hate her and she doesn’t understand why. They have been calling saying I should apologize since my stepmom is so upset. I personally don’t see how she got that I hate her out of this. I tried to be as nice as I could. She hasn’t spoken to me since. I have a baby shower next week with all of them and my other friends and family. Should I just suck it up and apologize? This is a vicious cycle that has been going on for years and I am so tired. I feel like I am going crazy. Plus all this stress cannot be good for the baby. I am to the point that I still want her in my life, but I don’t want to expose my child to this. I have a lot of anxiety, and have gone to a lot of therapy over the years because of her. I wanna throw in the towel, but at the same time want to make her happy? I am torn. Also idk what to do about the baby shower. It will be super awkward and I don’t want everyone mad at me. Help please.

Ps also today my neighbor told me how him and my mom were talking about how jealous my boyfriend is. I guess because I like to spend time with him? We are not one of those couples that go through each other’s phones, or don’t hang out with are own friends or do things on our own. We also don’t hang out with that yeah.

Pss sorry so long and I am sure there are misspelled words because I don’t proofread. Please overlook that.