stressed depressed had enough!

I can't take anymore! Ive been molested by a family member and lost other family members over it ive been molested by another man ive been forced to have sex when I didn't want to my father used to hit me my mother nearly died I saved her life for her to tell me later on down the line she wish she died that day ive been in an abusive relationship my daughter and I were abandoned by her father when she was 3 months old I was 17! What the hell am I supposed to say to her when shes older! I met someone else and had 2 more children I lost my granny and had to watch the beast that molested me lower her coffin ive just had a miscarriage my kids drive me insane they have destroyed my home I try my hardest to make it nice for them they dont listen to me at all its like they hate me they listen to everyone else except me! I feel like im constantly telling them off and sometimes im really scared im going to hurt them I really just want to end it all im totally done