Need to vent..

Me and my husband have been trying for a while now. Back in March i went and saw my OB. She came in, looked at me and said.. Your OBESE, and you will never get pregnant. I instantly started crying and left. I went back to my regular doctor on thursday because no matter what i do my weight wasnt dropping. Was 10 pounds heavier now than in march.. Well we talked about it, and with me have two miscarriages, suffering with anxiety and a lot of other things going on, she told me i have to stop trying till January to get pregnant, and to focus on myself. This is probably the hardest weekend though, as i throw my sister her baby shower, and turns out her due date was changed to when i was suppossed to be due..

Doctors told me if i dont lose 50 lbs by January, she wont let me ttc again till i do. My main goal is to lose that and more.. I just dont understand what im doing wrong..