Fears

I want a baby with my husband very badly. And I have almost no fears about raising our child. However, I am absolutely terrified of giving birth, getting an epidural, and issues during pregnancy. I'm afraid that there could be an issue with the baby's health during pregnancy. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder 2 years ago. I'm better but it's hard for me to eat 3 meals a day. I'm just not a very hungry person. I know that would change in pregnancy. But I'm afraid it could make it harder to conceive. Also, I smoke. Which I would stop the second I got a bfp or even before that, as I know that quitting makes it easier to conceive. I just have a lot of fears about pregnancy and the birth. I know this is normal. Does anyone have experiences or advice to ease my mind?