I don't feel great about labor :(

So i want an epidural but i don't want to risk having back problems for the rest of my life. I would do natural but the thought of tearing, them kneading my uterus afterwards for it to shrink back, and if i do tear- getting stiched up with no pain medication makes me really want an epidural but i still have that fear about them messing my back up.. 35 weeks and i just don't feel good about birth right now.. any advice? Does anyone know how common it is to be permanently damaged from an epidural?