Get to see my dr soon

So I have ed..its real bad I've always been addicted to food binging purging in the past now its bringing and I've gained so much weight it's horrible so Friday I get to see a dietitian slash counselor I hope I get help I'm 4'10 and im 195 pounds I just need help bad I dont want to die I just want to be healthy heres a picture of me now

And me when my eating disorder played a toll on me. At 133 pounds

Please dont judge me it's hard to post these I just want to be a healthy weight that's all. Any motivation will be great.