So we conceived via <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> early April and are currently just over 12 weeks pregnant with triplets. This is not what I wanted, I did not want three at once. Our doctor sent us to see a specialist who ran anatomy scans on all three fetuses and said two look healthy, with the one being smaller then the other two. He strongly suggested selectively reducing one of the fetuses to increase the chances of two growing strong and healthy without the higher risk of defects that growing three at once brings. We agreed with him.

I have the procedure to reduce this week, and although I feel like it’s the right choice for us it is taking a heavy toll on me mentally. We’ll have a 4% of losing the entire pregnancy until we’re 18 weeks.. I’m trying to focus on that 96% chance of a healthy twin delivery but the negativity is hard to cope with.

I feel like I haven’t been able to be excited about being pregnant this entire time because of all the what if’s. I’m crying much more often and feel like I have to lie to everyone about what is going on for fear of being judged. This has been the toughest few months of my life.

UPDATE 1

It’s been a week since we had a fetal reduction. For the procedure they give you an Ativan and a local anesthetic but I can definitely say the Ativan did nothing. The procedure was uncomfortable but not unbearable. I wasn’t entirely sure how I’d feel afterwards but I do feel some relief. I’ve been checking in periodically with the two remaining babies with my Doppler and their heart beats remain strong. We’re still at 5% risk of miscarrying for the next three weeks and all I can do is hope and pray all will be okay. PLEASE let them be okay.

UPDATE 2

Babies are now 17 weeks and doing really well. Looks like we’re in the clear. Thank God. I cannot express how happy I am to be past this.